Handfasting FAQ

This FAQ is offered as a resource to the greater Pagan and Magickal community. All information presented here is as accurate as possible and free of judgement. Interpret and use it as you will, and it harm none. Please give Pook LaRoux credit if you use this information in printed or electronic form elsewhere. Links to other Handfasting and Wedding related sites can be found at the bottom of this page. (Updated May 9, 1998)

What is a Handfasting?

Handfasting is a rite in which the Old Gods bless and hallow a Union of two or more people. It is a sacred marriage. Some people have called it a temporary or trial marriage. It is not always a permanent union.

Is Handfasting legal?

If at least one Priestess or Priest officiating at the rite is legally registered, the rite can stand as a legal marriage. Most Handfastings, however, are not legally certified.

Many Pagan Priestesses and Priests obtain legal certification through the Universal Life Church in Modesto, CA. In most states in the US, to obtain legal registration you are required to file documents proving your religious certification with a state level office (in Ohio that's the Office of the State Attorney General), and usually also with a county and/ or city level authority in the vicinity of where the rite is to take place. Each of these governmental authorities can give you information about documents needed to file to officiate legal weddings.

Couples wishing to make their Handfasting rite legal need to follow their local guidelines to obtain a valid marriage license. A legally registered Priestess or Priest can sign and process the license. The Handfasting so conducted will be considered as legally binding as any other kind of secular or religious marriage ceremony.

If Handfasting isn't always a lifelong commitment, how long does it last?

The participants decide beforehand how long they will agree to be committed. The traditional commitment is "a year and a day", but other popular vows include "so long as love shall last" and also "for all lifetimes."

(BTW -- if your commitment was for 'as long as love shall last' and you got a marriage license and did the legal thing, you will still need a divorce to legally dissolve your marriage.)

What happens when the time of commitment ends?

Some people renew the vow every year. Other couples simply part and go separate ways in life. Still others have a ritual to mark the ending of the Handfasting commitment. It has also become popular to follow a Handfasting a year and a day later with a legal wedding.

What kinds of special ritual actions are performed at the Handfasting rite?

Some couples opt to jump over a broom, balefire, sword or cord. Frequently, the couples are symbolically tied together. Couples may drink out of the same cup to indicate the joining of their lives and destinies. Rings are often exchanged. Most of the traditional symbols and customs we associate with traditional weddings (cake, wine and toasts, having rice or grain tossed over the bride and groom, ivy in the bridal bouquet, the 'unity candle', the veil, the garter, etc) were pagan rites originally. Many of these rites, such as rice-throwing, started out as fertility charms, so keep this in mind when you are planning your magickal rite. The long white lacy dress is a remnant from the Edwardian era, when white wedding dresses first came into use. Until then, the bride, groom and all the guests just wore their best clothes, adorned with flower corsages and bouquets.

What are examples of actual Handfasting Rites or other published resources?

Not in any particular order, stuff from my bookshelves:

The Occult Experience (a film) Section on a Handfasting Rite in an Australian Coven

Janet and Stewart Farrar "A Witches' Bible Complete" Chapter XIII Handfasting, p160

Ed Fitch "A Grimoire of Shadows" Part IV Rituals of Passage, p 95 "The Rite of Handfasting"

Shadwynn "The Crafted Cup" p 344 "The Rite of Handfasting"

Rhiannon Ryall "West Country Wicca" p 29 "Rite of Handfasting"

Kvedulf Gundarsson "Teutonic Religion; Folk Beliefs of the Northern Tradition" Chapter 16, p 236 Wedding"

Patricia Telesco "Folkways" Chapter 25 "Relationships"

Herman Slater "A Book of Pagan Rituals" p 43 "Marriage Rite"

Ed Fitch "Magickal Rites from the Crystal Well" "Rites of Passage" chapter, p 131 "Handfasting Rite"

Raymond Buckland "Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft" Lesson 8, p 97 "Handfasting Rite"

Mary Kay Simms "The Witch's Circle" Chapter 10 "Special Rituals" p 313 "Handfasting", p 322 "A Wedding Ritual"

Chas S. Clifton "Witchcraft Today, Book Two; Modern Rites of Passage"

"Marriage and the Modern Pagan" p 165 by Jeff Charboneau-Harrison

Doreen Valiente and Evan John Jones "Witchcraft; A Tradition Renewed" p 188 "The Rite of Handfasting"

When should a Handfasting take place?

Although Beltane is becoming a popular time to hold Handfasting rites, May has traditionally been considered an unlucky month in which to wed, since that is the Gods' sacred marriage month. (It seems kind of like upstaging the Goddess on Her wedding day). This custom predates the Christianization of Pagan rites. It explains why June is such a popular month for weddings. I suggest you wait until the waxing moon in June. Samhain is also becoming a popular time for Handfasting Rites.

The best day and time of the week to perform a Handfasting rite is either Monday or Friday at the first hour after sunrise or the first hour after sunset (but do cross reference this with the placement of the Moon and other astrological factors.) The worst days are Tuesday and Saturday, any time. If you can't make a Monday or Friday wedding, then at least try to perform the rite during the Magickal hour of Venus or the Moon. If you don't know how to figure out the hour of the Moon or the hour of Venus, Estelle Daniels does a great job of explaining magickal hours in her book "Astrologickal Magick" page 88 "Planetary Hours".

The best astrological time to perform the Handfasting rite is when the Moon is waxing to Full, well-disposed (that is: no hard angles to any signs, no angles to Mars or Saturn at all, and not Void-Of-Course) and in one of the Fixed signs. For more astrological hints, check out March and McEvers' book "The Only Way to Learn About Horary and Electional Astrology Volume VI" page 139.

General Wedding/Handfasting Resources:

Danielle Claro "How to Have the Wedding You Want (Not the One Everyone Else Wants You to Have"

Leta W. Clark "Affordable Weddings"

Sites with Handfasting Information

Ritual Text Online

Handfasting Ritual - 1995 - Akathia
http://www.mindspring.com/~stardancer/handfast.txt

Handfasting Ritual -- Maledicta Moonchild's Handfasting - A Wiccan Wedding
http://www.caip.rutgers.edu/~sofmac/wedding/ritual.html

Another Ritual
http://www.netrover.com/~lucg/rituals.html

A Handfasting Rite
http://www.witchery.com/handfst1.html

Handfasting "Full Ceremonial Form" - A Ritual
http://www.nettaxi.com/citizens/LionHart/spell6.htm

The Handfasting
http://www.iinet.net.au/~phalcon/handfasting.html

Inspiring Wedding/Handfasting Sites

Noelle and Doug's Handfasting
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/5930/handfast.htm
When they say graphic intensive -- they mean it! Long loading time but worth it -- and aren't they a great looking couple?

The wedding page -- good, with pictures http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/4713/wedding.HTML

Lynnaea and Dr. Paradox, Handfasted on Lammas, 1997
http://www.witchhaven.com/moonglade/handfasting.html
A really lovely collage of pictures, any Asti left?

These people had a civil ceremony and then a Handfasting ceremony
http://www.pinn.net/~alpha/marriage.htm

A "cyber handfasting wedding site"
http://www.summerlands.com/claddagh.htm
Where it will never rain on your special day.

Raelani and Taery's Handfasting Page -- a Same Sex Marriage
http://www.kaupe.com/handfast

Jason and Tynan's Handfasting
http://homepages.together.net/~alaric77//Handfasting.htm

This was what one pagan couple did
http://www.hue.org/party/

A virtual Handfasting following a Civil Ceremony in Australia
http://www.pinn.net/~alpha/circle.htm

James' and Beth's Wedding Page -- A medieval Wedding
http://www.chesco.com/~darius/wedding.html

Renee Byrde Montour's Pagan Wedding Notes
http://www.serv.net/~byrdie/plans.html

The Handfasting of Samantha and Stephen -- with Pictures!!!
http://www.ora.com/people/staff/fig/samantha.html

Arlea and Stormerne
http://www.anglo-saxon.demon.co.uk/wedding/couple.html

FAQs and other Useful Pages

Planning Your Handfasting: Pagan Wedding Considerations for Couples by Selena Fox
http://www.circlesanctuary.org/events/weddings.html

Handfasting and Trial Marriages Prepared by: Amanda Bergen
http://www.blueshingles.com/researchcentral/atoz/handfast.html

Planning a Handfasting, Submitted by Richard --Richard and Steve's Handfasting, December 26, 1997
http://www.tiac.net/users/mcox/bos/handfasting.htm

Introduction to Celtic Culture, Social Structure
http://www.dalriada.co.uk/Archives/society.htm

Medieval and Renaissance Theme Wedding FAQ: Questions about Ceremonies, Traditions, and Handfastings
http://www.pbm.com/~lindahl/rialto/wed-trad-FAQ.html

"What Paganism and Handfasting means to Me" by Devyn of BarleyMoon Grove and Coven HearthPage
http://www.caip.rutgers.edu/~sofmac/wedding/paganism.html

American Wedding Customs~Outline "A wedding is a pagent, clothed in colorful and unusual costumes, laden with tradition, sentiment, and quaint customs that have their roots in antiquity."
http://creativity.syr.edu/courses/cgr500/WWWDesign/Fall96/Sec2/valerie/page2.html

Wedding Traditions and Customs History
http://www.aomdj.com/traditio.htm

How to Plan a wedding
http://www.netguide.com:321/HowTo/Life/Wedding

Scottish Handfasting Custom
http://www.radix.net/~lsspindler/celticterms.html

A History FAQ about unions
http://www.bcmag.com/features/9702handfasting.html

Pali Paths Honolulu Polyamory Network
http://www.lava.net/~mnstrm/sermon.htm

Handfasting elements used in a ceremony
http://www.asylumbbs.com/moonie/ceremony.html

Re: Celtic Wedding/Coronations traditions
http://celt.net/wwwboard2/messages/1459.html

Medieval Wedding Info Links

http://www.amazingsites.com/romance.html

To Have and To Hold --Weddings in High Period Style -- SCA
http://renstore.com/articles/weddings.shtml


I Smell Money

Historical and Theme Weddings, by Rev. Misty Johnson (Pagan Commercial Wedding Site)
http://207.13.177.25/weddings.htm

DarkMoon Designs Handfasting Robes and Beautiful Gowns (another commercial site)
http://www.radmag.co.uk/~takhisis/

Non-Denominational And Interfaith, Reverend Joyce A. Klein, Ordained Minister "Wedding Central"
http://www.weddingcentral.com/md/revjk/


Sites that make ya go "Hmmm"...

Third Shoxian Partnering Ceremony
http://www.simons-rock.edu/~ayork/fred/law/ceremony.partner.html

Whoever wants to read the text of "this [Handfasting] rite should be dressed in clothing of the medieval era, or in fantasy costume. Ceremonial swords may be worn."
http://crafti.com.au/~runeluc/handfast.html

Lady Efette and Tave's Handfasting -- uh, this sounds like an Anne McCaffery "Pern" novel
http://jabba.tlh.fdt.net/~crystal/txts/handfast2.html

This is a copy of the Harper Hall Marriage document. There is also the handfasting checklist (the more likely ceremony for normal Pernese.)
http://aelfhame.tfs.net/~cecilia/harper/wedding.html