Rameo and Juliet
Two WordPerfects, both alike in dignity,
In fair Orem, where we lay our scene,
We trace the origins of these two foes.
A pair of software-crossed lovers take their digital life,
With hope to bury their parents' corporate strife.
The loyal followers of WPWin, Caplocks they,
Clashed with the house of WPDOS, the Macrogues, in those days,
Each seeking supremacy of word processing might,
That they may prove their system right.
In a chat room on the Net, was the battle staged,
"You use a little mouse!" the DOS user raged,
"DOS is dead, like a Macrogue's head!" a Caplock would exclaim,
And the cyberspace messages were all in FLAME!
Rameo, a Macrogue, missed the heated debate.
He was in a chat room for writers who word processed with love, not hate.
The host was a Caplock, but welcomed all, and it was here that
Rameo would seal his software fate, and begin the love that would lead to his fall.
User Juliet wrote of joy and words and poetry,
Rameo thought, "Oh, she doth teach the torches of love to burn bright,
her words are sweet, and her prose soft and light."
Rameo: "Dear Juliet! If I profane thee with my unworthiest writing, take no offense! I would soothe thee with words of love and anger's recompense."
Juliet: "Good writer, you do wrong your verse too much, when such mannerly devotion shows in this. For few saints have written so, and if I could, I'd welcome a digital kiss."
Rameo: "Saints don't know the eloquence of your style, but may I send you my love via a text file? Please grant this prayer for my heart's sake! But know, this is a WPDOS file, and from my lips my sins are purged."
Juliet: "Whether DOS or Windows, the file I'll gladly, madly take. Transfer away, oh, trespass sweetly urged! In return I'll send you a splendid TIFF picture of me. And on my hard drive, your file will always be."
Rameo: "But software! What light through the SVGA breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun, at 600dpi! How she leans her cheek upon her hand! Oh, that I were a mouse, even a Windows mouse, within that hand."
Juliet: "Rameo, Rameo, wherefore art thou, Rameo? Deny thy father and refuse they WPDOS name? 'Tis but my name that is an enemy to you. Thou art thyself, though not a Macrogue. What's in a name? That what we call a word processor by any other name would write as sweet!"
For days the software-crossed lovers wrote online, and their program differences were ignored, in their love sublime. They pledged to transcend any software incompatible disaster. At the Chapel 'O Love home page they were digitally wed, by Friar Webmaster.
Although the Prince had forbidden battle over WPDOS or WPWin's place, two hackers fought in cyberspace. Rameo's workgroup was flamed, and file deletions became the game. The fight expanded and anger flared, and in its heat Rameo became ensnared. His officemate had his disk wiped clean --- a virus from the Caplock's programming team. In revenge, Rameo scorched the Caplock's home page, and the long-patient Prince expressed his rage.
He banished Rameo forever from the Net. Juliet wept. In her despair, she met with Friar Webmaster. A plan was hatched that led to disaster. She would fake a deletion of her entire disk. She would be digitally dead, but it was worth the risk. Friar Webmaster would then restore her electronic life, and she and Rameo would be free to be husband and wife.
But alas, and harken a funeral dirge! Th e-mail to Rameo, to tell of the plan, was lost in a power surge. He searches for Juliet and finds her nowhere --- his life is over, his love cheated. He thinks she has been, in fact, deleted. He wipes his disk clean, and to the Net will no longer go. Juliet restores her files and searched for her Rameo. She finds he is truly gone, and in her agony of what might have been, she wipes her disk clean and plunges the digital dagger deep within.
In their deep grief, the Houses of Caplock and Macrogue pledge their peace. For they had never heard a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Rameo!